10 June 2015

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth: The Carnosaur Trilogy - Part 1

This is a prime example of just missing the mark. The original came out just before Jurassic Park but because it failed to hit anywhere close to where it wanted to, it lapsed into obscurity. The first movie takes place in the southwest, in Climax, Nevada which must be next door neighbors to Perfection, Nevada (home of the Tremors Graboids) with a security guard with a drinking problem named Doc. He serves as night watchmen to protect digging equipment from the local Greenpeace hippies who oppose his employer's digging. One night some activists chain themselves to the equipment only to be eviscerated alive by a Deinonychus (before the whole Raptor craze took off) who has been eating travelers and motorists around town.
Meanwhile an evil mad scientist Dr. Jane Tiptree reveals how she has unleashed a virus on the unsuspecting townspeople and how she intends to let the dinosaurs rightfully reclaim the earth... I know just a little uh... *slow circle around the head whistling* and her genetic mutation of the egg-loving populace has impregnated every woman with a baby dinosaur... don't ask, not biologically possible. In the end, our guard has to wrassle a T-rex using a front end loader in the thrilling climax... shades of Aliens...

After a swift delivered one liner and a coup de grace the hero and heroine are safe. That is until bleak and dismal conclusion with the ever popular government cleanup and coverup at the end of a flamethrower... much like poor Ben's fate in the end of Night of the Living Dead.

Drive in totals:
-18 dead bodies

-Live dino births and one literal breech birth
-Sheriff Shotgun-fu
-Bobcat vs T-Rex-fu
-Laser hand trap
-Famous last words to a Deinonychus: Greetings Green Brother

*** 3 stars for a good attempt at beating Jurassic Park to the punch and on a tight budget ($850,000) and an even tighter 10 week time schedule

Roll it

Next up we have Carnosaur 2... it's an Aliens gone dinosaurs ripoff in tomorrow's episode! Stay tuned!

1 comment:

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